It doesn’t seem like it at times, especially here on my blog.
When I first started blogging here, I used to update frequently enough — I still was not quite sure what I wanted to do with the website, aside from letting family and friends know what I was up to.
Once I started sewing and this past year drawing again, I mostly have used it to share those hobbies specifically. I stopped updating as frequently, so the (especially finished) projects wouldn’t be buried amongst a flood of babbling posts about nothing.
For whatever reason, I’ve started slowing down again with all my hobbies (I’m sure losing my brother this past October didn’t help). The frustration of having to switch back and forth between sewing and art was also hard to focus on. I spent so many years being on a deadline creatively, it’s rather nice to take my time and work on what I want. And, if I wanted to spend a lot of time researching or trying new techniques before diving in to the actual project… even better!
I think that’s what’s been hitting me the most. I found, when I was working on one project because I had to, I realized I was annoyed that I couldn’t work on the one calling to me the strongest. I was already discovering that about projects in the same hobbies, regardless of whether it was art or sewing. It’s not that I can’t work on a deadline, it’s just that as I said… I spent so much time in the past doing that for art especially. There just comes a point where you start realizing those hobbies meant to be fun aren’t as fun anymore. At least until you figure out what it is you want from them now.
Also, this year, I had decided to mostly focus on the art since the last Hobbit movie comes out this December… and I admit I feel that stress of “oh, I really would like to finish this, and that! And ohhhh! It would be fun to buy new paints and go all out and do this one!” Since I will be mostly drawing, there were only a few costuming events I considered attending, just to save my time and budget. Sadly, due to various things popping up, I have not been able to attend any of the events I’d been looking forward to. I only have two (that I can remember) left in the year, and I’m already wondering if I’ll have to change plans or skip those events. I guess I’ll see. I’m trying not to feel pessimistic about it, but at the same time it’s rather disappointing when you essentially put all your eggs in one basket, only to realize that basket needs to be set aside. *slaps forehead*
The most recent drawing is taking me longer than I expected it to. I am still currently working in ink and inkwash, but I’m wanting to push myself a little more. This is also a drawing I’d promised a friend last year (*winces* I’m not wanting to see if it’s officially been a full year or more), and since my very first inked image was of this character, I swore I’d do a much better job on this one. While some of the image is in my usual inked brushlines, you can see the background is getting painted in ink wash:
So, I keep stopping and considering, changing details, thinking of different ways of finishing a section. In some ways, it’s been good, because I’ve caught a few things that would have been mistakes (sometimes not, since taking too long and forgetting something means I had to change plans yet again). This is a piece I want hanging on the wall too, so if I’m going to be staring at it, I want to feel like I’ve made better progress in shaking off the rust.
Unfortunately, I’m not thrilled with how long it’s taking me. I used to be very fast before I stopped drawing, but I swore I would never be sloppy again. I don’t have a lot of space, so what I do draw I want to be pleased with. Quality over quantity. I just think I need to stop overthinking things too much, have a little more faith that I can do something at a decent speed, and just do it.
Also, and maybe it’s something with the changing of the seasons… I’m not sure, but I’m just feeling slightly lazy. There are times I’ll decide I’m going to do one thing or another, and at the last minute decide I’d much rather cuddle up with my husband and watch a movie or go out and do something. He’s even sort of going through the same thing, despite needing to focus on his various writing projects. So maybe it is something in the “air?”
And of course, the recent Hobbit movie coming out didn’t help. This particular set even came with really cool bookends. Ooooh! Great! Speaking of not having much space, I think it’s time to rearrange some bookshelves. *laughs*
Yep, there was a time when I felt if I wasn’t always working on something that I was getting behind. I definitely prefer taking time away from projects to hang out. So this weekend was nice: some productive stuff and plenty of hanging out with you. Makes coming into the office on a Monday no biggie, knowing nice evenings and another great weekend are just ahead…
Yeah, I think that’s just it Christopher. So many of the things I work on I want to either be decently researched, or just not rushed. Nothing worse than putting time and/or money into something only to end up hating it because you make a forced and rushed job and mess something up.
On the other hand, I want to stay productive, and I’m sure I’ve been going through a bit of a funk. I’ve had things on my mind, and I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself this year. Seeing the days slip by way too quickly, even when I *am* being productive just gets to you. As I said, I have nothing against deadlines, but if I feel like all I’m doing is worrying about deadlines and doing sloppy work or not enjoying the process… no fun! Plus, there are two of us, and we’re both itching to get away from work (because even hobbies are work of course) — it can be difficult figuring out what the other’s schedule will be like. I’m sure I’m just still in a bit of a funk, and considering what it is I want from my hobbies again… what’s more important, and what can be put off until the future. I’m sure I’ll figure it out. In the meantime, little breaks can be nice too.